Mark Her Words...

Right before I read this post by my mom this morning, I came across an old photo of her on Facebook, posted by a high school friend.  I'm late to the game, but couldn't help chiming in.

Her hair - her nemesis.  I have so many childhood memories of my mom trying to manage style her hair every single day.  It's the hair that fine-haired people dream of: thick, full, with an endless supply of curl and body.  For years she regularly went at it herself with thinning shears, leaving in the trash can what looked like a large beaver, with plenty still left on her head.

One morning last year while my kids and I were staying at her house, she came downstairs:  post-upside-down-blow-dry, but pre-flat-iron, with a mountain of hair flying every which way.  My 2-year-old Lil looked up at her, frozen with terror, and starting crying!  "Put it back right, Grandma, put it back right!" she bawled, burying her face in my shoulder.  My mom and I laughed until we were in tears, too... How I wish I had a photo of that 'do!

Nemesis?  Maybe.  But a well-controlled one, like a villain in a comic book who never even has a chance.  Wielding weapon after weapon - from embracing the bouffant in the 60s to a regular clothing iron in the 70s,  the giant velcro rollers of the 90s, and several different before-they-were-trendy flat-iron/round brush combos in the early 2000s, she's been showing that mop who's boss for decades.

So now we've hit a paradigm shift.  To quote her post this morning:  

"I liked my hair a whole lot more than I ever thought I did, and I will never curse it again!"

Fighting the frizz has conditioned you for battle, Mom, it's just that now the enemy has changed.   Don't worry, though - that mane will be back in no time!

Battle of the Hair

It has been a month since "the crack" appeared in the Christensen family planet.  I have to say that overall, it has not been nearly as bad as I feared.  And on those few days that it was that bad, it was mental/emotional pain, not physical.  I have learned that fear is the most difficult of all things to endure.  Amazingly, however, it is the one thing I feel like I have at least a small degree of control over, unlike the phyiscal part of this ordeal.  I have amazing friends and family, especially my four children and their spouses.  On the days, when I have let fear get the better of me, they have been there to hold me while I cried, talk me through my fears, and, eventually, make me laugh again.  Laughter is so much better than fear. 

The life I have led the last two weeks is not at all what I anticipated.  I have felt completely "normal," with a few exceptions.  I have learned a lot and am sure there will be many more lessons. 

• Did you know that the hair in your nostrils is what keeps your nose from dripping.  When you lose your hair, that hair goes too.  I now carry tissues with me everywhere.   
• Even though I feel normal, my body does not heal itself like it has for the past 60 years.  So, I wear gloves and shoes while working outside, and I am trying to be more careful.  Difficult adjustments for me. 
• I liked my hair a whole lot more than I ever thought I did, and I will never curse it again! 
• It's okay to be different (I'm still working on this one). 
• People are kind.  I have more friends and loved ones than I ever could have imagined.  I love you all and appreciate all of your kind thoughts, prayers, acts of kindness, and words of comfort.  Unless you have been here -- and I am learning that many of you have -- you can't know how that buoys me up and gets me through the week. 

Through the first round of chemo, my body reacted great.  The "tumor" is now maybe 1/6th the size it was (that's not a medical assessment).  I had some pain, was tired, had a sore throat, and felt "sickish" for about four days.  Since then it has gotten progressively better, and right now I feel completely normal (except my hair is falling out everywhere).  I was able to work regular hours last week and am still busy and doing normal stuff.   I start my second round on Tuesday.   
 
I am optimistic about winning this War.  I was feeling discouraged yesterday about my hair.  Then I realized that although Cancer was winning the Battle of the Hair, I really have won all of the other battles so far.  I feel good -- what more can I want right now (except my hair back).