Battle of the Hair

It has been a month since "the crack" appeared in the Christensen family planet.  I have to say that overall, it has not been nearly as bad as I feared.  And on those few days that it was that bad, it was mental/emotional pain, not physical.  I have learned that fear is the most difficult of all things to endure.  Amazingly, however, it is the one thing I feel like I have at least a small degree of control over, unlike the phyiscal part of this ordeal.  I have amazing friends and family, especially my four children and their spouses.  On the days, when I have let fear get the better of me, they have been there to hold me while I cried, talk me through my fears, and, eventually, make me laugh again.  Laughter is so much better than fear. 

The life I have led the last two weeks is not at all what I anticipated.  I have felt completely "normal," with a few exceptions.  I have learned a lot and am sure there will be many more lessons. 

• Did you know that the hair in your nostrils is what keeps your nose from dripping.  When you lose your hair, that hair goes too.  I now carry tissues with me everywhere.   
• Even though I feel normal, my body does not heal itself like it has for the past 60 years.  So, I wear gloves and shoes while working outside, and I am trying to be more careful.  Difficult adjustments for me. 
• I liked my hair a whole lot more than I ever thought I did, and I will never curse it again! 
• It's okay to be different (I'm still working on this one). 
• People are kind.  I have more friends and loved ones than I ever could have imagined.  I love you all and appreciate all of your kind thoughts, prayers, acts of kindness, and words of comfort.  Unless you have been here -- and I am learning that many of you have -- you can't know how that buoys me up and gets me through the week. 

Through the first round of chemo, my body reacted great.  The "tumor" is now maybe 1/6th the size it was (that's not a medical assessment).  I had some pain, was tired, had a sore throat, and felt "sickish" for about four days.  Since then it has gotten progressively better, and right now I feel completely normal (except my hair is falling out everywhere).  I was able to work regular hours last week and am still busy and doing normal stuff.   I start my second round on Tuesday.   
 
I am optimistic about winning this War.  I was feeling discouraged yesterday about my hair.  Then I realized that although Cancer was winning the Battle of the Hair, I really have won all of the other battles so far.  I feel good -- what more can I want right now (except my hair back).