Renewal

To be completely honest, the last few days have been hard. Like our friend Kerstin said, Mom's hit mile 16 in her marathon. She's already come a long way, but she has almost as far still to go. It's pretty hard to stay positive when you can't see the beginning or the end. Here are some things I've learned the last couple of days.

→Accepting God's will - especially when there's a chance it won't be what you want - is terrifying.
→It's okay to not be okay 100% of the time.
→Sunshine makes anything seem just a little better.
→Sometimes it's okay to be mad at God - as long as you continue to turn to Him in prayer, and continue to love Him.
→Being sad sucks, but sometimes it's just too hard to be happy.
→Chemotherapy, whether indirectly or directly, takes a toll on all the systems in your body, including your spirit.

Over the last few days, Mom has been hit hard with the fatigue that comes with chemo. If you know her, you know how unusual it is for her to lay around all day, not wanting to get up and do anything. You also would know how hard it is for her to be still. Other than the fatigue, Mom hasn't really been physically ill after this last treatment, which is definitely a blessing. In some circumstances, though, being physically ill would be easier to deal with than being emotionally ill.

Isn't she beautiful?

The good thing is we've turned a corner. Last night, after a long day, we decided to take a drive up City Creek Canyon and go for a little walk, since it was still too hot in the valley to enjoy being outside. Something about the sunshine, the mountains, and the cool breeze began a bit of a renewal. We are so blessed to live in such a beautiful place, where we can be up a mountain in 15 minutes, taking in the calm and serenity that comes from leaving a busy world behind. Today is better, still not great, but better. And that's what we'll do, just make every day a little better than the last. Hopefully, this will only last a few days, and she'll be back to feeling well soon. If she doesn't, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. It's really easy to become overwhelmed when we think about getting through this whole experience. I don't think any of us has the strength inside of us to get through something like this when we look at it as a whole. But we do each have the strength to handle one treatment, one week, one day, one hour, if that's what it takes.
 
A quick shout out to everyone who liked or shared our posts yesterday, and especially to those who donated in honor of our brother, Scott's 33rd birthday. We reached our $330 goal, and we couldn't be happier! There's still a long way to go, but it's nice to reach small milestones along the way. I continue to be amazed by the support and love poured out to us, and am so grateful everyday for it. We couldn't do any of this without you - thank you!